Epic Beer Names (Part 9): NFL Head Coaches Edition

In the competitive world of craft and microbrewing, breweries are always looking for new and creative ways to make their beer jump off the shelf and into your shopping cart. One of the ways they do that is with clever names/packaging, and occasionally they stumble upon something truly epic. When they do, we bring it to you here.

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Today’s Epic Beer Name: Bella Czech Pils from Wachusett Brewing in Westminster, MA. It probably goes without saying that in the New England area The Patriots are an obsession and Bill Belichick is treated with God-like status, so who can blame Wachusett Brewing for cashing in on this borderline-religious fervor with a beer toasting the coach himself? It’s good marketing, but let’s not forget that there are 31 other NFL teams with die-hard fan bases that would probably scoop up a beer that was themed after their coach as well. So, if you need any help Wachusett, I’ve got some ideas to get you started:

Andy Reid’s Crimson Walrus Imperial Red Ale: “It’s a got a heavy body, conservative flavor and the occasional stray mustache hair.

Denver Broncos v Kansas City Chiefs

Jason Garrett’s Mystery Pale Ale:When you order it you just get whatever Jerry Jones is in the mood for.

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Mike Tomlinter Warmer (Winter Ale): “Perfect for a cold Pittsburgh night when you want to go on a Roethlisbender.

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Pete’s India PED Carr-Ale (IPCA): “It’s the same special formula most of his players swear by!”

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John Harbaughlywine: “A beer strong enough to help you forget everytime Terrell Suggs (T-Sizzle) tells you he’s from Ball-So-Hard University”.

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OK Wachusett, that should be enough to get you started. As always you are free to use these ideas with no compensation necessary. Also, for those of you that have been thinking, “Wow, there were a lot of ‘brew’ puns they could’ve used”, we are well aware and decided to take the creative high road. That’s why there was no mention of Marvin Brewis, Ben McAbrew, Brew Jackson, Jay Brewden, Gary Brewbiak or Brewce Arians.