In the competitive world of craft and microbrewing, breweries are always looking for new and creative ways to make their beer jump off the shelf and into your shopping cart. One of the ways they do that is with clever names/packaging, and occasionally they stumble upon something truly epic. When they do, we bring it to you here.
Today’s Epic Beer Name: Master Shredder Wheat IPA from The Veil Brewing Co. in Richmond, VA. Sure, the imagery on the can conjures up someone that’s a master of shredding the guitar, and maybe that’s what they were going for, but anyone who grew up in my generation only thinks of one thing when they hear the phrase “Master Shredder”. That is what all of Shredder’s henchmen referred to him as in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I’m guessing the folks at The Veil are well aware of this, but by putting some rock n’ roll stuff on the can it gives them really good plausible deniability on copyright infringement. Or, maybe they are really into guitars and have never even seen TMNT (we may never know).
It should go without saying that I would have loved for The Veil to come up with a whole line of TMNT themed beers, but since they didn’t (yet), I did it for them. As always, they are free to use these ideas with no charge or strings attached (I would accept free beer though). Let’s put these puppies into production!
Master Splinter’s SenSaison: “He personally oversees the brewing process and we filter out the rat droppings.”.
Michaelangelo’s COW-abunga Milk Stout: “The secret ingredient is the bung.“.
April O’Neill’s Irish Red: “She now works for Channel 6 Brews, but we let her keep the yellow jumpsuit.“.
Krang’s Dimension X-tra Special Bitter (ESB): “It’s easy to be bitter when you’re an ugly brain living in a giant man-baby suit.“.
Heroes in a Hefe-Shell (Hefeweizen): “The turtles learned the Secret of the Booze, and it turns out it was just a recipe for an unfiltered wheat beer with hints of banana and clove.“.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have undergone many incarnations since the original comic and 1987 Cartoon, so the beer possibilities are endless, but this should be enough to get them started. Not to mention I was trying to avoid some of the less successful versions…