Learn to Speak Budweiseran: Super Bowl 50 Edition

During the 2015 Superbowl Budweiser decided to run an anti-craft beer ad, in which they basically insulted all of us. We translated their less-than-clever advertising lingo into plain English in a post titled “Learn to Speak Budweiseran“. Well, it looks like they are at it again with this year’s Super Bowl 50 ad (see below)

I think it’s time for another lesson in “How to Speak Budweiseran” using their word-for-word statements followed buy the translation in italics.

  1. “Not Ponies”. The horses in our ads do not necessarily support or condone the products being advertised.
  2. “Not a Hobby”. I know it’s surprising, but we make a living brewing this stuff!
  3. “Not Small”. We have an inferiority complex regarding the inadequacy of our manhood.
  4. “Not Sipped”. Spending any time dwelling on the flavor would be a mistake.
  5. “Not Soft”. We are still struggling with that inferiority complex regarding the inadequacy of our manhood.
  6. “Not Imported”. Because we all know Foreign things are bad, right?
  7. “Not a Fruit Cup”. We couldn’t find a fruit that paired well with stale malt, musty beechwood and clydesdale sweat.
  8. “Not Following”. Except when we buy up 8 established craft breweries in 4 years (read article).
  9. “Not For Everyone”. The truest statement we’ve ever put into one of our ads.
  10. “Not Backing Down”. We are a bully.

Final Thoughts: During the “Not Sipped” portion of the ad, it shows a winning team celebrating by spraying each other with Budweiser in the locker room. I find this ironically appropriate, because in their own ad people have found a better use for Budweiser than drinking it. “Not Sipped” should be changed to “Not Consumed”. I also enjoyed the portrayal of the typical Budweiser drinker being a crotchety old man at a dive bar during the “Not a Fruit Cup” segment. He sure can flick a lemon though…

Conspiracy Theory: Peyton Manning shamlessly plugged Budweiser in his Super Bowl post-game speech, and it’s being reported that he was not compensated by Budweiser to do so. Maybe he wasn’t compensated with money, but with product. I’m not saying they gave him free beer, I’m saying maybe some of the drug they pump into the clydesdales that gives them their majestic rippling-muscle appearance made its way into Peyton’s medicine cabinet. It would explain his reported use of growth hormone when returning from neck surgery and you can’t deny the resemblance…