In this corner, wearing blue trunks and an angry gargoyle: Stone Smoked Porter
In the opposite corner, wearing red trunks and a skeleton sailor: Ballast Point Victory at Sea Porter
Number of Beer Snob Squad Judges: 3
The bell rings and Stone Smoked Porter comes out swinging with bitter roasted notes and black coffee flavors, landing a few body blows. Ballast Point VAS tries to counter, but his level of sweetness makes him sluggish and Stone can easily dodge. Stone then tries a smoky backdrop roundhouse kick, but his taste is slightly burnt and the kick glances off. Ballast Point seizes the opportunity to assault Stone’s nose with his aggressive scent, but because Stone has no sweetness at all he’s able to shake it off and take Ballast Point to the floor with a well-balanced tackle. Ballast Point is tiring, and his high ABV isn’t well-hidden, so he’s getting woozy. Stone is trying to force a submission…
AND THE WINNER IS: Stone Smoky Porter (3-0 KO)
Finishing Move: Stone Smoked Porter drives a giant metal skewer through Ballast Point VAS from the top of his head all the way to the ground, and then places him on a giant spit over a fire, left to smoke as the ultimate insult.
Why Stone Smoked Porter won: It had better balance, as smoke flavor isn’t overwhelming and blends pretty well with the traditional porter palate. It was also more drinkable, but overall it had more to do with Ballast Point’s poor performance than its own accolades.
Why Ballast Point Victory at Sea lost: The sweet vanilla and coffee flavors were too strong, the 10.0% ABV is not well-masked, leaving hints or cough syrup and a rum-like aftertaste that is very present and hangs around too long.