Honorary Member: John Oliver

In the May 3, 2015 episode of HBO’s Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, John gives us his take on the Bud Light label controversy (see my article about it here), and in the process does a skit mocking the “up for whatever happens next campaign”. During that skit the following phrases were used to describe Bud Light:

“Tastes like a beer that someone already threw up.”

“It’s like a liquid version of a John Mayer song.”

“Tastes like the flat soda that a homeless guy uses to rinse off birds.”

“Like water strained through a gutter filled with dogs teeth.”

“Tastes like the scared urine of a rabbit.”

“It’s like Steven Seagal’s pre-cum.”

“If a nickel could urinate, it would taste like Bud Light.”

“Tastes like the ghost of a dead lemon.”

“Basically, if water could just go bad.”

“It tastes like if a raccoon ejaculated carbonated vinegar inside of an old log.”

“Tastes like butter churned by Boko Haram.”

“It’s like someone drank a good Mexican beer and then pissed in this bottle.”

“It’s like a cloud rained the tears of a sick child.”

“It’s like making a tea out of dipping Scott Caan’s balls in water.”

“Tastes like all the used bronzer in Wildwood, NJ.”

“It tastes like Robert Durst’s aquarium.”

“It’s like antifreeze has been filtered through a used yoga mat.”

“It tastes like ISIS attacked your taste buds.”

“You know the disappointment that your parents feel for you still working in this job, that’s what Bud Light tastes like.”

Most media outlets have been hard on Anheuser-Busch and Bud Light over the last few weeks because of the label scandal, so I don’t give John Oliver any extra credit for that, but he’s the only one who called them out for making a beer that tastes bad. It doesn’t sound like much, but Bud Light is the best-selling beer in the country and Anheuser-Busch is the largest beer distributor in the world, as well as one of the biggest advertising spenders, so going after them on national television takes some stones. Not only did he go after them, but he did it in a way that was both hilarious, and a summation of what we were all thinking. Congratulations, John Oliver, you are now an honorary member of the Beer Snob Squad!