Bud Light accidentally stumbles upon a better tasting recipe

I know for many of you the controversy over this recent Bud Light label that features the phrase “‘The perfect beer for removing “no” from your vocabulary for the night. #UpForWhatever”‘, is old news. The mainstream media have been all over this story, as the slogan conjures up thoughts of inappropriate conduct and sexual assault. Apparently Bud Light is now “The perfect beer for whatever happens (including rape)”. I’m not here to rehash the debate. After all, my first thought when I read this label was “they’d have to remove “no” from my vocabulary just to get me to drink it”. I’m here to talk about a major side effect of this story that no one seems to be talking about.

Since Bud Light started receiving all this negative publicity, they’ve issued an apology and admitted that they put their foot in their mouth. In a weird twist, they immediately realized that it tasted better than their beer, and have secretly started experimenting with a new and improved Bud Light recipe that is brewed with sweaty socks and old shoe leather. They hope to have production ramped up for a release in Q3, but do say that it could increase the price of a 6-Pack by up to 35 cents (now that the ingredients are a bit more expensive).


There is some logic to this idea, after all eating shoes is something that has been around for centuries. Cuisine connoisseurs such as the starving settlers of the Jamestown Colony and Confederate Civil War Soldiers have done it. Charlie Chaplin featured shoe-eating prominently in his 1925 film The Gold Rush, and Werner Herzog did an entire documentary in 1980 titled Werner Herzog Eats His Shoein which he does just that. I’m actually surprised the folks at Budweiser didn’t think of this sooner, because man’s best friend has always been “up for whatever”.

dog shoe